The Great Mary Sue Tragedy
by Undeniable Mystique
Summary: Hello. My name is Angela Darkness Marisu and I am new to Hogwarts. I joined Hogwarts when I was fifteen years old and was automatically placed into fifth year because I am just special that way. This is my story.
1. Chapter 1

-The Great Mary Sue Tragedy-

Introduction

Since the beginning of Harry Potter, there have been speculations within fans as to what would happen if they were to insert their own fictional character into the canon story. Many fans take this rocky path, and decide to insert an OC into their fan fiction. However, most fan fiction writers fail in doing so properly, and end up creating a character who is perfect beyond comprehension, a character who defies the laws of the Harry Potter world and even the laws of the natural world. Thus the Mary Sue TM is born. With her luscious hair, slim (but with "curves in all the right places!") body, and sparkling white teeth, she steals the heart of every man (and woman of a certain persuasion) in the Harry Potter universe. She may be a slut at times, but she has her heart in the right place. After all, she IS a virgin, and she must have her first sexual encounter with a male (or males) in the fandom.

Now that the main character is defined, let us begin with a story about her. Her name is Angelica Darkness Marisu (she has three names because she is UNIQUE) and yes she IS a Mary Sue TM


	2. Wake up, Angel

-Wake up, Angel-

The day she received her Hogwarts letter was the day Angela Darkness Marisu was born again. She felt as if she was awaking from a long sleep as she read her letter.

_Dear Miss Marisu,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. We are informed that your current school of residency is the California Institute of Witchcraft and Wizardry. However, we at Hogwarts have reviewed your record, and due to your extraordinary magical capabilities we offer you a place here as a transfer student. In fact, you will be our first ever transfer student here at Hogwarts, further showing how unique and special you are. You and your family must be very proud! _

_You will be sorted in your house on September the first, and you will be starting with the fifth year students as you have already completed four years of magical education._

_We will await your owl by no later than August 20__th__, and hope you will join our student body for the next three years!_

_Professor Minerva Mcgonnagal_

_ Deputy Headmistress_

_ Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

Angela sighed and hugged the letter to her bountiful chest. She was elated that she would finally be leaving her run down California apartment where she lived with her abusive father and his equally abusive homosexual partner. She poked the beak of the tawny owl that had delivered her letter, tied her reply to it's outstretched leg, and sent it soaring out her open window. The wind blew her lustrous blond curls around her head, looking like a halo of gold. She sighed with content as she dressed herself in fitted low-rise jeans and a red lacy corset top that accentuated her tiny waist and generous-sized bosom. (Now most women would look like two dollar prostitutes wearing such attire, but she simply looked angelic). She wrote a small goodbye letter to her father and stepfather with only the words, "I am leaving forever for a better life. Please don't try to stop or follow Me." and packing a hot pink suitcase with all her possessions, she walked out of the room. She caught a peek of her two fathers as she passed their bedroom. They were sleeping peacefully in each other's arms. Angela shuddered as she wondered how the two men could be so tender with each other but so cruel to her.

"Oh well," she sighed as she made her way down the stairs. She let out another sigh as she silently opened the door and stepped out of the home that had given her so little. "They're just jealous that I'm so beautiful I get free things" she finished. Angela was blissfully unaware of how slowly her mind often worked. Now this characteristic would make most women appear flaky, but it made Angela appear simply adorable. What she had voiced moments ago was in fact true. Angela Darkness Marisu _did_ get free things due to her beauty. Of course, since her fathers were cruel to her, they hardly bestowed money upon her except for the occasions where they would have her shop for them. Often times, Angela would walk into stores and try on clothes but when she would tell the salesmen (for they were always male) she had no money to purchase any items, they would pity the clothes as to not be able to belong to such a ravishing beauty that they would just give them to her, unaware of the concequences they would later face. So Angela had a bountiful supply of clothes, shoes, and makeup to withhold her beautiful appearance.

Angela took a taxicab to the nearest airport, and in just a few hours was on a flight to London, England for the first time in her life. She looked out the window thinking of how different her life was going to be, not knowing how special she was – thinking herself more – and some hours later, arrived at the London airport. She stepped outside and breathed in the crisp London air, scolding herself inside for not dressing weather appropriately. This was the beginning of her new life. She was finally free.

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**Author's note:** How did you guys like the first chapter? There's not much humour, I know, and the ending's a bit rushed, but I wanted her to get to London so that I could write about Hogwarts soon. Don't worry, the next chapters will be funnier! The review bittun is just a few inches below, please scroll your mouse over, and submit a review. Thanks. 


	3. Platform 9 34

**Author's note:** Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! Here is chapter three.

Oh and I forgot the disclaimer last time so here it is: I do not own Harry Potter characters or plotline. I do, unfortunately, own the Mary Sue you see before you. This applies to the entire story. Oh, and if you've read the infamous "My Immortal", you'll notice a reference to that in here. Now on with the chapter!

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-Platform 9 ¾-

At precisely ten in the morning on September the first, Angela Darkness Marisu arrived at King's Cross station. She was dressed in a pleated pink miniskirt with a sparkly white plunging halter top. To complete the look, three-inch heels graced her lovely feet and she clutched a matching Guess purse in her perfectly manicured fingers. She flipped her blond curls – today in a messy half bun like Amy Lee in the video for "Going Under" – and clacked her way over to a seat to take a look at her train ticket. She was the epitome of sexuality and innocence all at the same time and she looked absolutely ravishing. She flashed innocent grins at the men who stopped in their tracks to stare at her.

'Why, everyone seems to stare at me where ever I go. Oh, how hard it is to be this beautiful!' she sighed as she sat down. She was almost in tears because of her predicament. Suddenly, a boy of about fifteen came up to her. He a pale, pointed face and grey eyes like a thunderstorm (oh the originality!).

"Is this seat taken?" he asked. Angela looked up into his beautiful grey eyes and instantly fell in love. She flashed her best smile at the attractive blond boy and said "no" in the sexiest voice she could muster.

"Oh, good. I can take it then." He grabbed the seat and walked away to his friends. Angela gaped open-mouthed, managing to do it in a beautiful way. Had her charms failed her? She was going overboard with the amount of depressing things that had happened to her so far. She almost took out her cell phone to call Teen help line when a thought occurred to her. "Hmph!" She huffed, "He probably didn't want to sit with me because he would make his friends jealous. Aww, how sweet and considerate he is to his friends! I think I love him!" and with that, she was instantly happy.

A while later, Angela joined the rest of the students walking towards platform 9 ¾. You see, she was psychic and could therefore tell which people were wizards and which ones were muggles. She skipped to the wall between platforms nine and ten, her halter threatening to reveal her ample bosom. Muggles and wizards alike gaped to see this spectacle of a girl for they had never seen anyone so innocent looking and scantily dressed at the same time. When Angela Darkness Marisu reached the wall, she gracefully disappeared through it onto platform 9 ¾. The muggles watching her wondered where the girl had disappeared. Curiosity led to horror as a few Muggles who had been watching realized there was a magical wall in which people disappeared to. Needless to say, The Ministry arrived and had to obliterate some memories, but since Angela had not deliberately caused the near exposure of the wizarding world, she was off the hook. After all, Azkaban was no place for such a darling sweetheart!

Anyway, Angela Darkness Marisu hopped on the train and found an empty compartment. She sighed musically as she sat down on the comfortable seat. The train started to move when three people walked into the compartment.

"Do you mind? All the other compartments are taken." Spoke a brown-haired girl of about fifteen. This girl was Hermione Granger, except she looked completely different. Summer had been very, very good to her. Hermione's usual bushy brown hair was tamed and now fell in smooth waves all the way down to her shapely behind. Two guys followed Hermione inside, gawking at her grown bum.

Angela flashed all thirty-five teeth and shook her head, sunshine hair bouncing. The two males immediately diverted their attention from Hermione's buttocks to gawk at this new spectacle.

"Uh…I'm Ron Weasley," said the red head as he made his way over to sit next to Angela. Angela giggled in greeting.

"And I'm Harry Potter!" Harry immediately slipped himself in between Ron and Angela. Hermione glared. She sat down on the opposite seat fuming mad that she had been outperformed. She had not had a makeover during the summer for no reason!

Angela looked at Hermione's face and giggled, "My name's Angela Darkness Marisu, and I'm a transfer student at Hogwarts. In fact, I'm the first ever transfer student Hogwarts has ever accepted!"

Ron and Harry gaped even more. Not only was Angela beautiful, you see, but she also had the voice of a thousand Angels singing in harmony. Even Hermione found her anger melting away. "I'm Hermione Granger. But you can call me Hormone. You see, I used to be hideous, but I got a makeover in the summer and now I look like this! So I figured I should change my name as well!" The new Hermione…err Hormone had also developed the habit of bouncing up and down whenever she talked. Harry and Ron's brains went haywire as they debated whether to look at Hormone's breasts or Angela's. Both pairs were virtually bursting out of their owner's tops.

"Well, Hormone, I think we should go to the prefects carriage now. You know, for the meeting," Ron slid over to Hormone and wiggled his eyebrows in a highly suggestive way. Hormone giggled as Ron squeezed her butt and she waltzed out of the compartment, Ron hot in pursuit.

"Bye, you too!" Hormone giggled from the corridor and her and Ron disappeared. Angela giggled once again as she stared at Harry's Quidditch toned muscles for Harry had now taken off his plaid polo shirt.

"Better get changed into robes," he flashed a grin. Now you see, Harry had also changed over the summer. He had run away from the Dursley's house and had started living at the gym. He worked out during the day and played quidditch during the night. In other words, Harry had become a bona fide hunk and had gained the confidence of a lion. He had spent a good summer indeed.

"You don't have to change yet, Harry Potter, we just left King's Cross." Angela smiled and fluttered her three-inch long eyelashes. Harry was blown away. Literally. The wind from Angela's eyelashes had knocked him back. Harry grinned. He had never seen a woman more beautiful than Angela Darkness Marisu. He leaned in closer to her.

"You know, you can call me Angelo. Everyone else has started to." He whispered sexily. Harry…err Angelo grabbed Angela around the waist and they started to kiss passionately. It was getting pretty hot and heavy when Angela realised that she loved that blond boy she had met earlier.

"Wait!" she cried. "We can't do this!"

"What? Why not? Come on! Our names sound so much alike! We're destined to be together!"

"No! I love…somebody else." Angela sobbed. "But…I think I also love you…this is so confusing!" She ran out of the compartment, crying but still looking good. She was running blindly down the corridor when she ran into a boy with a toned chest.

"Well, hello there," he smirked, "haven't seen you around before. Are you new?" he had a familiarly sexy voice.

"Blondie!" Angela immediately covered her mouth when she realized she had said this out loud. She giggled apologetically.

"Oh yes! I remember now! We met at the station. Name's Draco Malfoy, but you can call me Dragon. Everyone else has started to." He flashed a winning grin. You see Malfoy had also changed during the summer. He was no longer albino skinned. He had gotten a permanent beach tan (with the use of the "Hocus Tan-us" spell, of course) and had shot up to a staggering six feet in height. He had also acquired muscles in all the right places through vigorously playing Quidditch with his father (who was now a good and loving man). Malfoy had also become a sex god. The time he didn't spend playing Quidditch with his father, Malfoy spent picking up girls and seducing them into his bed. His father Lucius Malfoy was completely supportive of his son's habits and even gave him money sometimes to pay for his promiscuity. Needless to say, Draco…err Dragon Malfoy had become a bona fide man-whore, a fact that made him extra sexy.

Anyway, Angela and Dragon gawked at each other, each basking in the other's luminescent beauty. Suddenly, Dragon got a naughty idea.

"Shall we?" he asked Angela with arched eyebrows and gestured towards an empty compartment. Angela giggled and led the way inside. After talking about their depressing childhoods for a while, Angela could not help but feel herself getting hot. She wanted Dragon. BAD. Dragon read Angela's mind and leaned in seductively. They started to "French" passionately. This was exactly how Angela imagined it would be to kiss Dragon. She moaned with pleasure as she learned the art of making out (she had forgotten how to since her last time). Suddenly, Angelo stormed in.

"How could you?" he cried.

"Angelo! What are you doing here?" The tension was too much for the darling to handle and she almost fainted. Almost. She started crying and hyperventilating. Dragon and Angelo both tried to calm her down and when by the time they had made Angela stop crying, the train had reached Hogwarts.

"Look what you did, Potter!" Dragon spat, "don't you know she's fragile?"

Angelo looked at Angela apologetically, "I'm so sorry, my love"

Angela glared at both boys, "can't you two just get along? I know I must choose one of you, but I need some time!" that said, she stormed out of the compartment to change into her Hogwarts uniform.

Dragon scratched his head while Angelo shuffled his feet. Then they both extended their arms and shook each other's hands. "Friends?" Angelo asked.

"Best friends!" Dragon exclaimed, "I guess we'll have to give Angela some time to decide who she loves more. May the best man win, Potter."

"By all means, Malfoy, call me Angelo."

"Okay, as long as you call me Dragon."

"Deal." And the two boys got off the train, arms around each other's shoulders all friendly-like.

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**Author's note:** I hope you enjoyed this chapter! By the way, I don't think Hermione is/was hideous to begin with. As I said before, I'm not too crazy about this story, so it's not really the best parody. Meh. I'm actually more attached to my FFVII story, which will be updated soon. Please leave a review as they make the world go round. Thanks! And if you could make some suggestions as to how I can bash this Sue further, I will be ever so grateful! 


	4. Threstals? What threstals?

**- Threstals? What Threstals? -**

When Dragon and Angelo made their way towards the carriages, they scanned the crowd for the beloved Angela. Ron and Hormone were also nowhere to be found, but Angelo was unconcerned because all he could focus on was how to find Angela.

"Who's that?" Dragon suddenly yelled. He pointed to a girl wearing black robes. She had waist-length, pin straight black hair and wore a pout on her luscious lips. She was glaring right at the two boys with contempt. They were so drawn to this new spectacle that they inched closer to her, even thought she intimidated them. When the two boys came within inches of the new girl they realized that it was none other than Angela.

"Angela! Darling! Sweetheart! Honey!" Angelo was determined to outdo Dragon. "I've been looking--"

"Call me Darkness." She interrupted in a raspy voice. In her anger, she had completely transformed. She was no longer the sweet innocent Angel they had known a while ago. Now she was Bad. Underneath her robes, Angelo could see a glimpse of a leather micro mini skirt and a black lacy corset top laced with red. She was also wearing boots with chains dangling from them and sticking out of her bag was what appeared to be a leather whip.

"What's happened to you?" he gasped as Darkness' face became painted with black eyeliner and dark purple lipstick.

"I'm a metamorphmagus. When I'm feeling a negative emotion, I become Darkness." She swished her cloak and strode into a carriage, a gaping Angelo and a smirking Dragon following her.

"She's sexy when she's angry" Dragon whispered to Angelo.

"I kind of like her better when she's sweet and innocent."

"Well, isn't this good, there's a side of Angela for both of us. Now we can both date her…yes…" Dragon got mental images of himself, Angela, and Angelo together.

"That's hot, Dragon" Darkness interrupted.

"Huh?" Dragon blushed.

"I can read minds." Darkness smirked knowingly. So she had discovered Dragon's secret; he was bisexual. It had happened over the summer when he had become closer to Blaise Zabini. Friendship led to something more and they had quickly become 'special friends'. Dragon grinned at the memory and Darkness smirked at him. "That's totaly hot"

"You know, huh?"

"Yes I'm one too. It's super sexy"

"I'm missing something, aren't I?" Angelo cut in. Darkness and Dragon laughed at the confused look on Angelo's face.

The rest of the carriage ride was spent in silence, save for the occasional sound of Angela laughing evilly. When they arrived at the castle, Angelo and Dragon had a fight over who would help Darkness out of the carriage. Neither won as Darkness simply apparated out of the carriage. She smirked once more at the two boys and walked towards the entrance.

After her departure, Harry noticed that winged horses were leading the carriages. He stared at the black creatures, fearing for his sanity, until he felt Dragon's hand clasp his own. He looked to the smiling blond boy.

"Let's go to the castle, shall we?"

Harry gaped at the adoring look on Dragon's face. Was this normal Malfoy behaviour? 'Well, we've all become sexy now, maybe Malfoy has too' he told himself. He put an arm around Dragon's shoulders and together they skipped towards the giant double doors of the castle.

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**Author's note:** Ugh, I'm not too fond of this chapter, but I felt I had to end it there. The next chapter is in progress and I guarantee it will be funny. It will also be posted here really soon.

As always, reviews are encouraged and welcomed.


	5. The Sorting and the originality

Darkness walked into the Entrance Hall with the first year students and looked around at the grand room. She slowly transformed back into Angela as she felt a sense of elation inhibit her body. She smiled sweetly at the children who gaped at her. Whispers erupted around her as the first years stared at this spectacle. Before anyone had the chance to ask questions, however, they were quieted by the presence of an elderly witch in emerald robes.

"Quiet down, everyone. Now, before you enter these halls you should--" Professor McGonagall's speech was cut off when she spotted Angela grinning up at her. "Oh, Miss Marisu, welcome to Hogwarts." She then proceeded to let the children into the Great Hall to be sorted. Angela innocently followed but was stopped by Professor McGonagall. "Please wait here while the first years are sorted. I shall come and get you." With that McGonagall led the students inside.

Angela caught a glimpse of the bustling Great Hall before the door shut in her face. She checked her reflection in her mirror and fixed her already-perfect hair. After about half an hour McGonagall returned.

"Right this way, sweetheart" she whispered as she led the beauty into the Great Hall. Heads turned as she made her way between the aisles towards the tattered hat that lay on a three-legged stool. She smiled sweetly as boys on the benches wolf-whistled and swooned. Angela waved when she spotted Angelo. In the background, someone had started singing "I'm too sexy for my shirt" and Angela cat-walked the rest of the way. She gracefully took a seat on the bench and put the sorting hat on her head.

"Oh, a sexy one, eh? I know just where to put you."

Angela giggled as the hat yelled out "Gryffindor!"

Applause exploded from the Gryffindor table as Angela waltzed towards the table. She took her seat in between Hormone and Angelo. She looked over to the Slytherin table to find Dragon in tears. His friend Blaise Zabini consoled him. Angela pouted and was about to mention this to Angelo when she was bombarded by questions by the rest of the people on the Gryffindor table. Everyone wanted to talk with Angela.

At the head table, Dumbledore smiled serenely, his blue eyes glittering knowingly. He was glad Angela was placed in Gryffindor; now she could aid in the defeat of Voldemort.

After the meal was eaten and Dumbledore's speech given, the students made their way towards their common rooms. Angela joined the rest of the Gryffindor students into their common room. She then joined the rest of the fifth-year girls into their dormitory, climbed into her four-poster bed and instantly fell asleep. This was going to be an interesting year.

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A/N: So this was a filler chapter and not very good. I must be suffering from writer's block because I can't think of a single good thing to write. I promise the next chapters will be faster in pace and also longer. You're more than welcome to flame this chapter as it's horrendous. 


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Reader,

Since reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, I am no longer continuing this fan fiction. I cannot possibly continue knowing what happens at the end of the series.

I want to thank all those who read and reviewed The Great Mary Sue Tragedy, and I am glad so many of you enjoyed it.

If anyone wants to continue this, they are more than welcome to do so. Just let me know if you wish to do so as I would love to read it.

Thanks for reading!

Undeniable Mystique


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